How to Move On Without Closure: 23 Effective Ways (2024)

It’s natural for people who are dealing with a breakup to want to figure out how to move on without closure. That’s because they have the desire to resolve any situation. So, they want to understand why a specific situation didn’t work.

Moving on can be difficult if they don’t have the closure they need. This is more real in a breakup without closure.

Life often unfolds in ways that leave us with unfinished chapters, unspoken words, and unanswered questions. These gaps in our stories, these missing pieces of the puzzle, can make it feel impossible to move forward.

The concept of closure, that final, satisfying resolution we yearn for, can sometimes remain tantalizingly out of reach. But what if closure, as we commonly perceive it, isn’t the only path to healing? What if we can find our way to peace and progress without tying up every loose end?

It’s likely harder to end a relationship without closure, but there are effective tips on how to get over someone without closure.

In this article, we’ll explore the art of moving on without closure, offering you invaluable strategies to untangle the knots, let go of the past, and embrace a brighter future. When closure is elusive, remember, it’s not the end of your story; it’s the beginning of a new chapter.

What is closure in a relationship post-breakup?

Closure after a breakup means the impulse of your brain to understand the situation. So, you go through all the events leading to the breakup. What happened in the relationship? How did it end up this way?

When you feel satisfied with the answers you got, you have closure.

No closure after a breakup is painful. It can be tempting to ignore the pain and force yourself to move on. But this is a mistake since you need to deal with what you’re feeling to move on healthily.

Can you move on without closure?

No, that’s because healing is different from closure. You can heal even without closure. When you heal, you can go through life even if there’s pain left.

To heal, you need to realize what you’ve lost and give yourself time. When the breakup has no significant meaning, this is an indication that it’s possible to move on without closure.

Why do many people find it hard to move on if there is no closure after a breakup?

One of the main reasons it’s hard to move on without closure is social media. Through social media, you seemed loosely connected with your ex. So, you can’t forget them and move on with your life completely.

Because you see them from time to time on social media platforms, you’ll be tempted to try hard to piece together different clues you uncover as you check their accounts. This will make you feel worse and think of scenarios of what went wrong in the relationship.

It would help if you kept in mind that moving on without closure can be as challenging as moving on with closure.

23 ways to move on without closure

Yes, it might not be easy to move on from a relationship that did not have any closure. But it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. By having the right approach, discipline, and patience, you can move on in a positive direction.

Here are a few tips for moving on without closure:

1. Understand that closure begins with yourself

You might be thinking that the last conversation equates to getting closure from an ex. But understanding that it comes within you is how to move on without closure and feel peace.

2. Accept that closure requires patience

It would help if you gave yourself time. This isn’t only true in breakups, as it also applies to whatever hurtful ending you’ve experienced. Doing this helps you gain closure soon because you have more patience. As time passes, you figure out the answers and lose the desire to have closure.

3. Let yourself absorb the emotions

Emotions come and go. They’re inevitable, but they are important in the healing process. But most people try to hold their feelings in. This could result in feeling depressed and anxious.

It’s okay to feel some negative emotions when you lose someone. Embrace these so that you can feel relief.

4. Effectively communicate one last time

Receiving no response is often a powerful response when learning how to move on without closure.

When someone doesn’t respond to your attempts to communicate, there could be different reasons. However, rather than sending unclear or demanding messages such as “Please talk to me,” you have to be more strategic with your follow-up message.

Your message should make the receiver feel the need to respond directly. If they don’t answer, you have to make sure not to send another message again. If they respond without the explanation you need, you can give them time until they’re ready to talk.

5. Don’t blame yourself

What’s worse than a breakup is feeling that you are the one who is responsible for everything that went wrong in the relationship.

Self-blame can make you feel ashamed, ugly, guilty, and other negative feelings about yourself. Though you may have done something wrong in the past, it doesn’t mean that you’re the one to blame for getting ghosted.

So, this has nothing to do with your self-worth. No one deserves to get ghosted or have no closure in a relationship. This act reflects more on the person who did it.

An effective way to understand how to move on without closure is not focusing on your imperfections.

6. Try being a forgiving person

Letting go of all the hate, anger, and disappointment you feel while you grieve is how to move on without closure. That means you have to forgive the person who caused you pain.

Depending on their emotional maturity, you have to treat your ex kindly. You must understand that you didn’t get the closure you deserve because your ex is not strong enough to explain themselves to you.

Some people deal with emotional issues this way, so sometimes it’s better to be the bigger person.

7. Hope for the best for your ex

Aside from forgiving them, you can step up your recovery process by wishing your ex all the best. You don’t need to pressure yourself to do this.

You can be compassionate enough not to wish the other person to feel the same pain as you did. It’ll help if you understand their actions through psychological and spiritual perspectives.

8. Think of a closure ceremony

A closure ceremony is something you can regularly do to remember a chapter in your life that ended. Here are some closure ceremony ideas you can do:

• Visit a place regularly and meditate to let go of someone or something.
• Gather the possessions of someone to remind yourself that you’re not putting yourself through them.
• Go to the places that remind you of something or someone and make new memories there.
• Reflect on things that can help you let go of relationships with someone or something.

9. Separate yourself from the situation

If possible, it’s best to leave behind the person you need closure from. You can have a wiser and fresher attitude toward things by doing this. As a result, you can let go of the things not worth holding onto.

Here are some of the things you can do to help you distance yourself:

• Take a break from using social media or the internet.
• Go on a retreat alone.
• Have a weekend vacation or holiday.
• Slow down in doing your routines.
• Go on a hike weekly to ponder on your situation in another place.

10. Try a new hobby

You can discover a new interest or try a new hobby to avoid having thoughts of your past and cope through rebound relationships. Not only does it help in your healing, but it also allows you to use your free time constructively.

11. Send a message to your ex

Sending a message to your ex is an effective method to learn how to move on without closure and can help you recover from bad relationships.

You need to get a blank piece of paper and write everything you want to express to your ex without making any changes.

From love, happiness, and memories to resentment and anger, pour out all your thoughts in your letter. It’s perfectly fine if you take the time to write this. While writing, you can realize the truth.

After finishing your letter, you don’t send it to your ex. Instead, you burn, crumple, or tear it apart to help you heal faster and symbolize the beginning of moving forward in your life.

12. Write a message for yourself

After writing a message for your ex, the next person you write a message to is yourself. You can write a message to your future self. You think of what your current self wants to share with yourself six months or several years from now.

Writing about harsh truths about your current self and affirmations can help give you hope.

13. Don’t try to contact your ex

Except for the last message you’ll send, you should keep in mind that sending many messages to your ex doesn’t guarantee that they’ll try to reach out. The best thing to do is keep your dignity and look for peace within yourself.

Also, if you keep on trying to contact your ex, they might get the wrong idea. In some cases, it can become essential to learn how to get closure without contacting the other person.

14. Think and forget

When you reflect, you can learn a lot from your experiences. You also avoid feeling depressed because you don’t have negative thoughts.

It’s recommended to spend several hours every day or once a week reflecting on the person you need closure from. You can determine the answers to your questions, which helps you let go and accept the future wisely.

15. Do appreciation meditation

Appreciation helps ease the pressures in life and makes you realize the beauty of life. So, rather than thinking of your ex as a bad person for hurting you, you can be grateful to that person for giving you many life lessons.

You can set at least ten minutes every day to list down the things you’re thankful for from your previous relationship. Realizing the positive from something negative is beneficial in your healing because you appreciate the life lessons the experience has taught you.

16. Be patient

You’ll benefit a lot if you are patient in searching for closure. There’s a possibility that your ex will try to reach out and give you the answers you need. However, it would help if you learned to wait.

Your ex might apologize in the future, so it’s best to be patient.

17. Focus on the present

Rather than focusing your energy on the past, which affects you emotionally, you better concentrate on the present. Moving on without closure means moving forward and leaving the past behind.

18. Make changes in your routine

You need to change your routine, especially if it involves someone you need closure from. You can use the time you would previously spend with your ex to try something new or look for new friends.

This is an effective tip on how to move on without closure because you end up distracting yourself and diverting your energy into new and more productive beginnings.

19. Involve your friends in the process

Talking to your friends about your healing process is good. However, you can progress if you become responsible for what you say you’ll do. If you say you’re not going to contact your ex again, inform them and do it.

20. Delete details from the past

Whatever you see on social media that reminds you of the past, such as your Facebook status, you have to delete these.

If you want to stop living in the past completely, you can try to avoid things that are connected to your past relationship, at least until you’ve completely moved on and healed from it.

21. Consult with a professional

Your family and friends can help you heal when you share your thoughts and experiences with them. However, seeking professional help will help you go deeper into your feelings.

Some challenges can be too tough to overcome on your own, so talking to a therapist or coach can be advantageous.

22. Limit contact with your ex

If you’re struggling to find closure in a relationship or situation that’s causing distress, limiting contact with the person or situation can be beneficial. This means reducing communication or interaction to a minimum, allowing you to create emotional distance and focus on your own well-being.

For example, if you’ve had a toxic friendship that ended abruptly without closure, limiting contact could involve unfollowing or muting that person on social media, avoiding gatherings where they may be present, and giving yourself the space needed to heal and move forward without the constant reminder of the past.

23. Travel to new places

Traveling or exploring new places can offer a fresh perspective and help you move on without closure. When you immerse yourself in a different environment, it can symbolize leaving behind the past and embracing new experiences.

For example, if you went through a painful breakup, taking a solo trip to a place you’ve never been before can help you detach from the memories associated with your previous relationship.

Travel can allow you to focus on personal growth, self-discovery, and building new memories in a different context, aiding in the healing process.

9 ways to heal and move on without closure in a relationship

Healing and moving on without closure can be challenging, but it’s entirely possible. Here are some ways to help you navigate this process:

1. Self-reflection

Take time to explore your emotions, thoughts, and reactions to the situation. Reflecting on your feelings allows you to gain insight into your own needs and helps you recognize that closure can often be found through understanding and acceptance of your own experiences.

2. Acceptance

Embrace the idea that not all situations can be neatly tied up with closure. By acknowledging this uncertainty, you can begin the process of letting go and moving forward, focusing on your own healing.

3. Seek support

Reach out to trusted individuals to share your emotions. Opening up to friends, family, or a therapist creates a safe space for validation and helps alleviate the burden of carrying your pain alone.

4. Set boundaries

Establishing boundaries is a crucial act of self-care. It involves protecting yourself from further emotional harm by clearly defining what is acceptable and what isn’t in your interactions with the source of your distress.

5. Practice self-care

To learn how to heal from a breakup without closure, you must shift the focus to your self-care.

Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your mental and emotional well-being. Engaging in activities like exercise, mindfulness, or pursuing hobbies can help you regain your emotional balance.

6. Forgive and let go

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It doesn’t excuse the other person’s actions but frees you from the weight of resentment. Letting go is a powerful step towards your own healing and peace of mind.

Watch this video to learn ways to forgive someone who has wronged you:

7. Create closure rituals

Develop personal closure rituals, such as writing a letter to symbolize your feelings, burning it as a release, or planting a symbolic tree. These actions help signify the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one.

8. Focus on the future

In learning how to get closure after a breakup, shift your attention away from the past and toward your future aspirations. Setting goals and envisioning a brighter tomorrow can help you redirect your energy in a positive and forward-looking way.

9. Give it time

Understand that healing is a gradual process. Be gentle with yourself as you move through the stages of grief and growth. Over time, you’ll discover that closure often comes from within as you continue to evolve and find inner peace.

Commonly asked questions

Here are the answers to some pressing questions that can help shed light on various aspects of moving on without closure in a relationship:

• Do you really need closure to move on?

Closure can be helpful for some, but it’s not an absolute requirement to move on. While closure provides answers and a sense of finality, it’s not always attainable. You can still heal and progress by focusing on self-acceptance, self-care, and setting new goals. Finding closure within yourself is a powerful alternative.

• What is the purpose of closure?

The purpose of closure is to provide emotional resolution and a sense of finality to a situation or relationship. It allows individuals to understand, accept, and move forward from a painful or uncertain experience.

Closure can help reduce lingering questions and emotions, paving the way for healing and personal growth. This is the reason why it is so hard to move on without closure.

• Is closure in a relationship important?

Closure in a relationship can be important for some individuals, as it allows them to gain clarity, process emotions, and move forward. However, it’s not universally necessary.

Some people find closure independently through self-reflection and personal growth, while others may benefit from open and honest communication with their former partner.

• Should I contact my ex for closure?

Whether to contact your ex for closure depends on your specific situation and emotional readiness.

If you believe a conversation would bring you peace and understanding without further harm, it can be worth considering. However, carefully weigh the potential consequences and ensure you’re prepared for the outcome, which may not always align with your expectations.

• How do I move on without a boyfriend?

Moving on without a boyfriend involves focusing on self-discovery and personal growth. Invest time in self-care, engage in hobbies and activities that bring joy, and strengthen your support system with friends and family.

Embrace the opportunity for personal development and building a fulfilling life independently, which can lead to happiness and a brighter future.

Final thoughts

Finally, you better understand closure after a breakup and what you can do if you don’t get the closure you need. No single method guarantees that the healing process will be smooth since there can be challenges on your way to recovery.

But, by following the provided tips, you can free yourself from your complicated relationship and give yourself the chance to discover new interests and relationships. Counseling will also help you overcome the need for closure.

At last, licensed psychologist and certified coach Silvana Mici says

Talking to a therapist or psychologist may help you in showing your feelings and understand how to move on to finding the right path, without living all the time in sadness.